Informing the  Berea and Baldwin Wallace University Communities Since 1913

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Informing the  Berea and Baldwin Wallace University Communities Since 1913

The Exponent

Informing the  Berea and Baldwin Wallace University Communities Since 1913

The Exponent

Satirist Presidential Candidate Vermin Supreme stops in Cleveland

Vermin+Supreme+cracks+jokes+and+shared+his+policy+goals+at+Spotlight+Cleveland+Tuesday.+
Simon Skoutas
Vermin Supreme cracks jokes and shared his policy goals at Spotlight Cleveland Tuesday.

Satirist presidential candidate Vermin Supreme held an event in Cleveland bar, Spotlight Cleveland, Tuesday night from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. on his way through Ohio for his 2024 presidential campaign.

During the event, Supreme rocked his signature style of choice, a boot on his head, and spoke about his main policy goals if elected: mandatory tooth-brushing, free ponies for all Americans and an increase of “zombie preparedness.”

Supreme warned the audience before the start of the show of new “scientific evidence” that is helping to catch terrorists as a segway into a classic fart joke.

“If during tonight’s performance you smell what you believe, may be human flatulence or a biological weapon, please do you patriotic duty and stand up and say loudly and proudly and clearly, ‘Hey did somebody fart?'” Supreme said.

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Despite his satirirical appearance, Supreme has been able to gather support in his 36 years of campaigning such winning fourth place in the 2016 New Hampshire Democratic primary and first place during the New Hampshire Libertarian Pirmary in 2020 and ultimatly falling third for the party nationally.

Supreme was also able to gather a significant crowd in the Cleveland bar.

“I just know that I have a lot of fans here and that I resonate with a lot of people,” Supreme said.

One supporter who came out to see Supreme was Jude Miller, a 37 year old Lakewood resident. Miller said that he would definitely vote for Supreme in the future, and that Supreme represents his anti-establishement political sentiment.

“Hilary, Trump everything’s a joke,” Miller said. “And Vermin Supreme is, to me, the face of the joke.”

Supreme said that he does enjoy delegitimizing the political establishment, but that he is weary of other movements which do not use humor positively.

“The far-right have sort of picked up that, using humor to do horrible things, whereas I try and do uplifting, entertaining things with the humor,” Supreme said. “I think having a distrust of government is a good and healthy thing to do and I’ve obviosuly been doing that for quite some time. You know, it’s easy, it’s like pissing on a fish in a barrel.”

Another supporter of Supreme’s who came out to his event, Heather Hughes, said that they wrote him onto their ballot twice and that they enjoy that Supreme is not a part of the political machine running in one of the two major parties. Hughes said that behind the performance, Supreme is an “eye-opener.”

“I feel like the two-party system has outlived itself,” Hughes said. “When you have people saying things like ‘vote blue no matter who’ and ‘lesser of two evils’ it’s ridiculous.”

While Supreme’s policy goals are mostly humorous, there are some genuine opinions which Supreme platforms. For example, next to Supreme’s merchandise stand, was a sign which told voters to “Vote Yes On Issue 2,” Ohio’s marijuana legalization ballot measure which Ohioans will vote for on Nov. 7. The measure would legalize marijuana while applying regulations to treat marijuana similarly to alcohol.

“So, you know, I’m a libertarian,” Supreme said. “I don’t mind if people want to inbide in any sort of substance, and I’m against the law where the government is telling you what you can and cannot do with your body.”

Supreme is currently campaigning and said that he may receive the Primary Matching Fund, which is a fund provided to you by the Federal Election Commision matching your individual donations if a candidate receives over $5000 in 20 states from individual donations.

“We raised more money in Ohio than any other state so far,” Supreme said.

Correction: This story incorrectly had Nov. 8 as the day of the upcoming election as opposed to Nov. 7. The story was fixed as of Oct. 12.

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  • M

    MarcOct 8, 2023 at 9:51 pm

    “Ohio’s marijuana legalization ballot measure which Ohioans will vote for on Nov. 8.”

    It should be noted that election day is Tuesday, November 7, not Wednesday, November 8.

    Reply